i feel i don't understand myself anymore. Or is it that i know why i don't want to understand myself. am i scared of knowing, of being conscious and completely aware of what i feel and what i think? am i so scared to see the change in myself? or am i just too confused to make even such a decision: decide not to know, decide to ignore the feelings and all the rest.
Is it so difficult after all? Is it just me? Or is it U that still weights me down?
i just feel that i owe it to myself, to be sincere with myself, to sit down and decide what i really want.
i will do that.
i have to do that,
some day,
soon.